36 Things I’ve Learned in 36 Years [And How to Survive Divorce for Modern Girls]

  1. You can always find something to be grateful for, even in your darkest moments.
  2. Pray. Praise. All the time. Sing. Yell. Thank God + the Universe for those good things in your life. In the kitchen. In the shower. Driving with the windows down.  Whenever, wherever—it never falls on deaf ears.
  3. Love. Even if it’s a risk and you get hurt. It is never a mistake.
  4. Speak the truth.
  5. Move towards things that feel like sunshine and away from things that feel like rain.
  6. Refuse to wait around for a “probably” to turn into a “yes.”
  7. When people tell you who they are, believe them.
  8. When they show you who they are, believe them more.
  9. If it’s not a “hell yes” it’s a “no.” You have zero time for bullshit. Be kind but say no early and often.
  10. If you intimidate people and they leave you then good riddance. Either they can’t face their own realities or they’re just not your people.
  11. Your identity is not contextual. If it is, break out of that box and redefine yourself. Just be you.
  12. Take baths.
  13. Get pedicures.
  14. Do your own nails [a cheap + easy way to feel put together even when you’re losing your shit because you will absolutely lose your shit over and over again, especially once you think you’re done losing your shit].
  15. Blast music. Dance your ass off.
  16. Run.
  17. Hit a punching bag.
  18. Cry [often after hitting things].
  19. Read. Put the damned phone down. Happiness doesn’t live in a device.
  20. Fill your head with good things—podcasts, Ted Talks, books on tape, Jesus music, whatever gets you going and feeling good.
  21. Solidify your morning routine. Get back to basics. Simplify—even if that means defining a routine like “unloading the dishwasher” and “showering” [seriously].
  22. If you feel like you don’t have enough time, GET UP EARLIER. Toughen up, buttercup. You’re going to sleep when you’re dead so in the meantime, drag yourself outta bed.
  23. Don’t date professional athletes.
  24. Pilots.
  25. Attorneys.
  26. Marines.
  27. Green Berets.
  28. Coast Guard snipers.
  29. [Any other special forces and + or black ops personnel].
  30. Actually, it doesn’t matter what he does for a living. It’s not part of the equation at all. In fact, try not to think of him in a professional context at all at first. What’s more important is that he’s not a narcissist, abuser, Peter Pan man-child and knows how to treat a woman [so who cares what he does as long as he, you know, works].
  31. Clear out the clutter of your heart. Ceremoniously burn mementos + say goodbye to the past.
  32. Forgive. Let go.
  33. Get mad, hit the punching bag again, and then forgive + let go again.
  34. Envision your future. Don’t calculate or attach yourself to the path that will get you there—the path is unknown. Simply focus on the vision. Fix your gaze there.
  35. Walk yourself to the edge of the unknown, leaving your past in the dust. Allow yourself to be terrified that you’ll fall instead of fly.
  36. Jump anyway.

Published by Amanda Niznik

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