So, you’ve begun yoga teacher training. At first, you’re tired [very tired]. You juggle work/home/yoga, almost running from one venue to the next. It’s all very cerebral at first – you have a schedule, books to read, classes to attend, and things to learn for goodness sake! [exhilarating almost, especially for Type A’s]. A few weeks go by and then you lose it. You have that “I don’t think I can do this! / WHY am I doing this? / I’m very confused about my WHOLE LIFE!” breakdown. You cry. You call your mom [you’re just very confused – what is it that you want with your life?]. And just when you think you’ve completely cracked, something changes. You’re different. You wake up energized, alive, and hungry. Starving. You want the yoga – nay, you need the yoga. It’s like a fix. You have to have it. You think about it all the time and you do it all the time – in the morning, in the eve, in public, and on the internet [hello, yogaglo!]. You rock your stretch pants and Ganesha shirt, talking ayurveda and asana all day. Your diet changes. You refuse tomatoes at dinner because hello! tomatoes throw your dosha out of whack [at this point, friends and family are very confused]. Oh, and now it’s happened – it’s really happened, dear friends. You’re a YTT-Beast!
Obsessed with everything yoga, you are incapable of thinking about or talking about anything else. If your behavior wasn’t such an excusable rite of passage, we could easily accuse you of being a Baby Yasshole. But it’s ok, you’re in YTT. Just reel it in a smidge once you get back into the real world [you can be a YogiBeast for life, just be a mature one].
For now, bask in your beast-ness.
[can I get another ‘rawr’ ?]
If there’s any doubt in your mind as to whether or not you wear the mark, following are a few signs you’ve entered YTT-Beast-dom:
- You chant. Incessantly [in your brain, out loud – all the time].
- You’ve memorized the class schedule of your local studio [at night before bed, visions of
sugarplumsMINDBODYONLINE dance in your little head].
- You can’t recall the last time you wore toenail polish.
- What’s more: You don’t care that you can’t remember the last time you wore toenail polish.
- You have no problem pronouncing Kombucha and ghee.
- Jeans feel itchy and binding [so do wool suits].
- You know what a Neti pot is and you know how to use it [and tell everyone how great it feels to catapult snot out of your head].
- Bodily functions seem to be appropriate topics for dinner conversation.
- Idle talk not about YOUR feelings and/or yoga is simply intolerable to you [hello, you’re in a meditative state here!]
- Unless it’s your mom or your significant other, you just stop picking up the phone. Period.
Alas, there are too many qualities to list. Feel free to add some of your own!
*YTT-Beast is in no way meant to categorize and/or insult. It’s just fun [VY is a self-admitted recovering YTT-Beast / definite occasional yasshole].