Welp, it’s official – YTT is over. After a teary graduation practice and small celebration, I drove home as if I was leaving class any other evening. On cue, Natasha Bedingfield sang an acoustic version of “Unwritten” to me and I left it on [and, no offense Natasha, but I usually turn you off – I just feel like you’re yelling at me all the time]. As I sang along, I realized that this is where the book begins – the rest is still unwritten. There isn’t a finality in finishing teacher training at all. On the contrary, teacher training is a minute glimpse of what is to come – an introduction to a life-long practice. I realized that, yes, the road ahead will be long and difficult but it will also be beautiful. Amidst tears of joy, I felt stoked at the prospect of experiencing other YTTs, workshops, etc. And the coolest part? My path looked just a little bit more clear than it did when I began and that, my friends, is freaking awesome. I was on a total high.
Then I returned to work on Monday and had a nervous breakdown.
The sun rose, the coffee brewed, traffic was horrific, and I sat at my workaday desk job as if it was just any other Monday but this time I [internally] screamed “DON’T YOU REALIZE WHAT I’VE JUST BEEN THROUGH?” I had a killer migraine, was crazy angry, and couldn’t focus – couldn’t deal. Having just wrapped up a soul-searching experience that required not only my utmost vulnerability but also my unwavering time commitment, I needed a little separation. I just needed to chill – so I did.
Today I’m back to an acceptable amount of sanity. It only took a day of reconnecting and contemplating to beat the sudden-onset depression. See one teacher’s account of The Post-Yoga Teacher Training Blues on Elephant Journal for more emo talk. She sums it up pretty well.
So what’s on tap now that teacher training is over? Well, first, since we missed last Friday’s confessions, I offer you one little nugget today:
I have a radar detector (seriously). In fact, I am a complete, bat-out-of-Hades fast-driving, skydiving adrenaline junkie. I get it from my daddy [since we’re in NASCAR country down here, cue Ricky Bobby].
Did I just use the words “daddy” and “NASCAR” in one sentence? God, I’ve been in the South for too long.
Second, and speaking of shooting adrenaline up nadis, I plan to stimulate my chakras and tickle my sushumna in February by making this month not about yoga monogamy but instead about yoga harlotry. That’s right, you heard me – I’m hoochin’ it up in February and gettin’ around! Studios, that is.
I’ll be joining YIFY by hussing it up at different locales with different teachers. This weekend, my studio just so happens to be hosting some special workshops. On Saturday, I’ll be movin’ and groovin’ with Steve Ross and on Sunday, I’ll be sweating budokon-style with Cameron Shayne. Photos to come.
Will you step out of your comfort zone and try new studios, new classes, new teachers, and/or new approaches this month? I encourage you to. Make yoga love not war – and have a Freak Nadi February!